The Onion Finds Bernanke ‘Disavowing the Entire Concept of Currency’
The latest issue of The Onion, the parody news vehicle, offers an item the Ron Paul crowd can rally around:
WASHINGTON?The U.S. economy stopped to function this week after unexpected existential remarks by Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke shocked Americans into realizing that money is, in fact, just a meaningless and intangible social construct.
What started as a routine report before the Senate Finance Committee Tuesday finished with Bernanke passionately disavowing the entire concept of currency, and negating in an instant the very foundation of the world’s largest economy.
“Though raising interest rates is unlikely at the moment, the Fed will of course act appropriately if we?if we?” said Bernanke, who then paused for a moment, looked down at his prepared statement, and shook his head in utter distrust. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. None of this?this so-called ‘money’?really matters at all.”
“It’s just an illusion,” a wide-eyed Bernanke added as he removed bills from his wallet and slowly spread them out before him. “Just look at it: Meaningless pieces of paper with numbers printed on them. Worthless.”